PPAP Smear Leads to Uncomfortable Burning: Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen Sheet Mask Review

Angela (to Renee and Indya): LADIES!!! I have a very speshul present for you.

Indya: Does it involve cutting out lolcat talk?

Angela: Me haz no idea what zis hooman is talking about. Ahem–*whips out package*–feast your eyes on this.

Renee (eyes widening): Ooh, aaah. It’s so big! It’s so firm! It’s so…pineappley?! OMG it’s the heartthrob Pikotaro. Sooooo much better than your girly male Korean pop star masks!

Angela: I’m going to pretend you didn’t just wound the deepest part of my soul. Anyhoo, I got each of us a Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen (PPAP) sheet mask. You get a PPAP smear, you get a PPAP smear, EVERYONE gets a PPAP smear!

Renee: PPAP is the best thing that will ever happen to you. Watch this while wearing the above sheet mask and you will be just as beautiful as Pikotaro: Continue reading “PPAP Smear Leads to Uncomfortable Burning: Pen-Pineapple-Apple-Pen Sheet Mask Review”

Matcha Up – Jeju Natural Green Tea Mask

Why did Marx hate Earl Grey? Because all proper tea is theft. Buahahahahahahaha. Get it? Get it?……I’ll see myself out.

I was visiting a baby (not mine, from what I remember) in Atlanta, GA over the weekend. This marks the 12th consecutive weekend I haven’t been home, or something like that. By Atlanta I mean the suburbs of Atlanta, like deep suburbs where nothing is in sight except empty roads and strip malls. And mother of god, there was an H-Mart? WTF? H-Mart! And inside this H-Mart was a beauty store with a mask-only tiny counter. It was like the Russian dolls of Asian marts.

So I picked up this random box of 10 masks for $20. Based on information from our fabulous followers, this shit could’ve been bought for $10. Cries.

But behold, the Jeju Natural Green Tea Mask by Welcos:

  Continue reading “Matcha Up – Jeju Natural Green Tea Mask”

Bunch Abalone – The Yeon Clean Sea Nutritive Abalone Mask

Abalone is one of those mysterious Asian food items that I often crave because it’s expensive and associated with happy family wedding/red egg/Chinese New Year banquets. I also love the crunchy bouncy gelatin texture. Until recently, I had no idea what it really is or how it’s obtained.

I thought it’s a sort of clam. Well….sorta. It’s a “marine gastropod mollusc” or marine snail.

We go from garden snail to marine snail in the world of Asian beauty. A natural segue dontcha think? =)

Continue reading “Bunch Abalone – The Yeon Clean Sea Nutritive Abalone Mask”

Less Is Lovemore: Review of Lovemore Black Pearls True White + Pearl Barley & Milk Smoothing Mask Sheets

01 Lovemore Sheet Mask ReviewGiven that they’re made of silk, I wish I had a better impression of these Lovemore sheet masks. I first heard about them from raves about the silk’s second-skin fit, which, to be sure, is its standout quality.  The two flavors that I tried were Black Pearls and Pearl Barley & Milk.

Lovemore is a bit pricier than most sheet masks–I got them at Image Beauty when they were on sale for $10 for a box of 5, and they’re $3 apiece at U.S.-based MelodyCosme here and here (no affiliation)–so naturally I had high expectations.  (For comparison, I’m used to paying $1-$1.50 per mask by My Beauty Diary or My Scheming.  People in Taiwan are cackling right now at how much I pay.) Continue reading “Less Is Lovemore: Review of Lovemore Black Pearls True White + Pearl Barley & Milk Smoothing Mask Sheets”

Justin Sky-n-Lake: Skylake’s Mask Pack Whitening

This Skylake update is very timely considering I almost drowned at Lake George over the weekend. No exaggeration. On top of that my idiot cohorts were laughing because they thought I was joking since I was holding my sunglasses above water trying not to lose them. I really loved those folding Rayban Wayfarers….and yeah, not being able to swim really puts a damper on water sports. I definitely got plenty of sky and lake over the weekend and lived to remember both. Of course my subconscious drove me to grab the Skylake Mask Pack to decompress tonight.

Continue reading “Justin Sky-n-Lake: Skylake’s Mask Pack Whitening”

The Essence of Wetness: Dermactin-TS Moisturizing Facial Sheet Mask Review

01 Dermactin-TS Moisturizing Facial Sheet Mask Review

Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.  –Derek Zoolander

From the Marshall’s sheet mask haul comes the Dermactin-TS Moisturizing Facial Sheet Mask. Made in Korea but aimed at the American market (all-English packaging, branding resembles knockoff StriVectin), this mask had several intriguing qualities that spurred me to buy it: Continue reading “The Essence of Wetness: Dermactin-TS Moisturizing Facial Sheet Mask Review”

Dewin’ It – Dewytree Ginseng Nutritious Black Sheet Mask

Don’t mind if I ‘dew’ another sheet mask review. I have bazillions of them in the fridge and it’s almost part of my nightly routine now that I’m traveling and being dehydrated so much. During the last LA trip, I dropped 40 bones on a box of 10 sheet masks thanks to this beckoning sign advertising the NEW dew product:

It’s really just like any other sheet mask. I don’t know what’s the deal with the popular new black fabric but maybe if I read Korean perhaps I can understand any claims regarding the virtues of the black mask (cue Rachel Dolezal).

Continue reading “Dewin’ It – Dewytree Ginseng Nutritious Black Sheet Mask”